I've never been one to toe the line

For the Week of December 12, 2022
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Dark Bill suddenly emerged because he couldn't stand the idea of Carter replacing him in Katie's eyes. But Sheila might want to revisit her trip to Payless, because her shoes revealed nine reasons to confirm her greatly exaggerated death after Finn went all crime procedural on her! Tap your toes with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Were you so bad at rejection that you put on an old necklace to deal with it? Did you discover that all those hours watching CSI came in handy? Did your wardrobe malfunction make Janet Jackson's look like much ado about nothing? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Finnegan clan this week!

Ho ho ho, Scoopers! It's definitely Christmastime, because Thomas wanted to sit on Hope's lap and ask for forgiveness, Bill got all Grinchy when he realized the Logan sisters could do without him, and Deacon finally got rid of the lump of coal that's been sitting in his apartment since the summer. But Sheila's escape to the North Pole was thwarted because Santa brought her the wrong pair of shoes! Let's Scoop about it!

WITH BELLS ON HER TOES

Steffy found Brooke and Hope in the co-CEO office and assumed she was about to get flamed for the lengths Thomas had gone to, trying to reunite their parents. But it seems the Logan half of the brood had a little Christmas spirit going on, because Brooke thanked Steffy for doing the right thing in outing Thomas. Brooke even emphasized that she'd remain grateful no matter what choice Ridge ended up making!

Yes, once again, Ridge has "a choice" to make between women. Here go the "Logan Lover" accusations again, but I have to give it to Brooke for affirming that she "just couldn't do that back-and-forth thing with Taylor anymore." Because, let's face it -- none of this is Taylor's fault, either. It's Ridge's, and it's been Ridge's right from the very beginning.

I've been watching a lot of 1992 episodes on YouTube lately -- a year that just happened to showcase Tridge's first marriage. I have no doubt that Ridge came to love Taylor eventually, but here's what was going on then. Brooke was married to Eric but in love with Ridge. Ridge wanted to be with Brooke but didn't want to hurt Eric, so Ridge arranged for Brooke to find him in bed with another woman to turn Brooke off him.

Meanwhile, Ridge decided that he'd bank on an unformed relationship with Taylor and fly to St. Thomas, where Taylor had flown to get away from him. This when, the day before, he was going to move in with Brooke. Ridge found Taylor and proposed to her, and they married not long after. Even Stephanie couldn't understand how Ridge could shift from Brooke to Taylor so fast. And that's where all the trouble began.

Much like those events 30 years ago, I have had trouble in 2022 believing that Ridge could leave Brooke, move in with Taylor, and suddenly decide he wanted to remarry his Doc. Taylor even ran away from Ridge again, this time in Aspen, to make the cycle complete. Sure, Taylor wondered if Ridge was for real, but she went for it, anyway. Taylor should have had flashbacks galore and made a better choice.

I would love to see Taylor adopt the same stance Brooke has now and tell Ridge it ain't about nothin' until he spends some time away from both women and gets his ish together. Ridge has clued in that Thomas needs therapy, but Ridge does, too. There's something driving him to bounce back and forth between Taylor and Brooke, and we really didn't need to see a rehash of this three decades on.

TOE-TALLY NOT COOL

Speaking of Thomas, he waltzed into Forrester and grinned at Brooke, informing her that Tridge would still be married. Thomas snarked that he had done bad things because he had "a screwed-up stepmother," but Brooke was tired of his potshots. She declared that Thomas was obsessed with her, and that may not be too far off the mark. Remember how he fantasized about his stepmama in the days leading up to Berry Island?

That's right -- in 2011, Thomas had a thing for Brooke, just like he's had for Hope. He and Brooke may even have had berry good sex while hopped up on the psychedelic fruit they were forced to eat to survive. Maybe Thomas never completely got over Brooke, and that's why he didn't want his father to have her. Brooke, however, said that "this time," Thomas had gone too far. Um, one CPS call does not equal keeping Beth from Hope -- a deed Hope was very quick to remind Thomas about, thank the soap gods!

Hope also asked my question: "How can you show your face around here?" I was kind of amazed that Ridge and Eric didn't demand Thomas turn in his key fob; instead, Thomas retained his free reign and tried to soft pedal his actions to an uninterested Hope. She wasn't having his trying to place the blame on Donna, Brooke -- anyone but himself.

It sickened Hope that Thomas had pressured Douglas into keeping another one of his secrets. Apparently, Douglas didn't even want to see Thomas. "Sometimes I don't even understand how he can be related to you!" Hope said of the boy. Ah ha -- maybe he's not! Now would be a great time to reveal that Ridge is Douglas' dad, after all. It could happen -- we never got absolute proof that Douglas is Thomas' son.

Hope ripped Thomas a new one and left with his balls at the same time, replying to Thomas' oft-repeated profession of love with, "I love Liam -- never you." Ooh, hope Thomas' local CVS had enough Bacitracin to take care of that burn. I don't know where Thomas can go from here, and it's rather a shame that Matthew Atkinson's wonderfully performed but disturbed Thomas all but erased Pierson Fodé's fun and affable Thomas, who wasn't crazy.

DID I STEP ON YOUR TOES?

Brooke had cornered Carter to talk about the nice things he had said about Katie while giving Bill a reality check. La Logan admitted that, while she had long hoped that Katie and Bill would reunite, it was time for Katie to move on. Maybe Brooke finally put that together after Bill attempted to win both Katie and Brooke back just minutes apart. What the hell was that, Bill? You can't get Tinder on your phone?

Let's also not forget that there was a certain spark between Bill and Li, but the show seems to be ignoring it, just as they chemistry tested Deacon and Taylor, only to halt the proceedings. No, Bill has been laser focused on the oldest and youngest Logan sisters, and it doesn't seem to matter to him which one succumbs. Katie was at his house, loading up a care package for Will. Why is any of Will's stuff still at Bill's?

Katie noticed that Bill had put his sword necklace back on, which could only be a harbinger of trouble. Bill reported that he'd dug it out of mothballs for extra protection -- from himself. He bewailed his string of bad decisions and actually started crying when Katie reminded Bill that the reunion he wanted with her couldn't happen. The teary-eyed Dollah couldn't believe that Katie wouldn't let him back in.

Did Bill use his immense wealth to buy a time machine and skip over the first three years of COVID to get to this point in the timeline? Katie has been pretty clear since Bill got caught kissing Brooke in 2020 that she wasn't about being second best in his life anymore. At no time has Katie given Bill any reason to hope. Businessman Bill should know to walk away from any deal that takes this long to close.

Instead, Bill dug his heels in further and blurted out his true reason for being so hardheaded about Katie -- he couldn't abide the idea of Katie moving on with Carter Walton! Bill would not lose Katie to Carter or anyone else! Bill then whined to Liam about how abandoned he felt. But when Liam let his pop know it was all right to feel sorry for oneself at times, Bill growled, "I'm not feeling sorry for myself!"

Uh-huh. Bill's pity party is so big that it couldn't be held on the Stella Maris. Bill complained that he'd always thought he'd end back up with Katie..."Katie or Brooke." Who do you think you are, Bill -- Ridge? That's a Dressmaker tactic! Bill then decided he felt betrayed by both Brooke and Katie and stormed out on Liam. So, is this where we're going? Bill is going to get revenge on his ex-wives?

Personally, we've seen too much of Brooke being targeted this year, and I'm super done with that. As for Katie, Carter might be a more solid choice for her, but he jumped from Paris to Quinn at lightning speed and has only been single a few months. Yet, Katie allowed herself to share her first kiss with Carter in the co-CEO office. Does no one in L.A. actually go on dates anymore?

TOE JAM

Pretty much out of nowhere, Finn (remember Finn?) decided that something about Sheila's death wasn't sitting right with him, and that he needed to do some investigating concerning it. To his (and the show's) credit, Finn's rationale was that he had avoided bringing it up to Steffy because of her obsession with her parents. Okay, Finn didn't say "obsession." That's my word. And a kick-ass Animotion song from 1985, as well.

Finn had the bestubbled Lt. Sanchez bring him photos from Sheila's case file...evidence from the scene of her death by bear mauling...and her toe! The hell? Even Deacon thought the digit should have been decomposed by now; did this version of the LAPD embalm the thing? If they closed the case, why did they still have it? So Finn could go the route of your favorite crime procedural and examine it, natch.

And that's actually not a bad thing. Our soap got very intriguing as Finn brought Steffy into his circle of suspicion and got all doctory with his microscope. Finn determined that the toe didn't bear (oops, actually wasn't trying for a pun there!) any teeth marks and that an animal attack would have caused a lot more tissue damage. Doc Finnegan also suggested that there should have been more remains than just a toe.

It was fascinating! It kind of felt like watching a whole different show while Steffy peeked through the microscope and Finn deduced that Sheila had pulled out her own hair because there were still roots attached. It took getting blasted in the abdomen, but Finn has truly stood out as one of the more interesting characters this year. He could tell from how cleanly Sheila's toe was severed that she had severed it herself.

So, my question is, if Finn could come up with that, why didn't the cops? They didn't examine the toe as closely? No wonder Carter wondered why the po-po were so quick to accept Sheila's death. Finn and Steffy, doing their best Hart to Hart, actually make a good team. Steffy's so much more compelling when she's not fixating on her parents getting back together. More, please.

At the apartment somewhere on the property of Il Giardino (it can't be above -- and why is it numbered "8"? How many crash pads could there be for one restaurant?), Sheila was pooh-poohing Deacon's pronouncements of doom and gloom. Sheila was sure she would walk away from everything a free woman and insisted that she'd sacrifice anything to be close to her son.

Yes, Sheila sacrificed her toe, as indicated. But what has she done since then? She sneaked in to see Hayes exactly one time. For a woman who claims to always have a plan, she's been remarkably absent of one. That's not the Sheila we know. B&B gave her an even spiffier disguise than she wore to move around Genoa City in 2005, but Sheila's done nothing with it. She's been all talk and no action, which isn't like her.

Sheila bolted when Deacon threatened to turn her in, one would presume for good. We'll get back to that. Just as Deacon finished packing up Sheila's suitcase (I assume she bought one as Lina, and that she didn't take a load of stuff from jail when Mike helped her escape), Sinn arrived to ask Freaky Deak some questions.

I like that Steffy and Finn still have a good relationship with Deacon and continue to acknowledge his part in saving their lives. But the good feelings didn't last long, as the Finnegans told Deacon that Sheila was alive, and Deacon had to go into a bit of a tap dance to pretend he didn't already know. He never really denied much of anything as they inquired whether Sheila had been in touch, but he wasn't lying when he said, in that moment, "I have no idea where she is."

Indeed, where was Sheila? She left Deacon's place with her face mask on but waited until she was outside to add the wig. Not very clandestine, huh? Plus, Finn and Steffy were awfully calm, considering they weren't home, they knew Sheila was lurking somewhere, and Sheila could easily subdue whatever babysitter is assigned to watch Hayes and take off with the tyke.

LIKE, BAG YER TOENAILS

I half expected that to be the case. Many of you have been predicting from the beginning of Sheila's most recent tenure that she'd eventually make off with Hayes; I've never thought so, because it would be a page from a very old playbook. But in trying to figure out what possible story Sheila could have left, I figured Hayes would be traveling.

Nope. Sheila actually came back to Deacon's. What the hell for? He just said he was going to turn her in! That is a bridge burned, and the old Sheila would have moved in another direction faster than she could raise a menacing eyebrow...which, sadly, she doesn't do anymore. What was the point of keeping Kimberlin Brown around once Sheila escaped from jail just to have her loll around Deacon's apartment, anyway?

Upon finding out that Finn had puzzled out her continued existence, Sheila, after expressing a moment of familial pride, finally seemed to realize that she had to motor. She and Deacon had what I'm sure was meant to be a sweet moment of goodbye, much like Mike and Sheila had before she skipped town in 1998. But for some reason, it didn't resonate with me.

I guess it's because Deacon has pretty much been resistant to Sheila from the beginning (bewigged hook-ups with her aside), whereas Mike had been in love with Sheila for years, and they had a real connection. But Sheila did promise that no one would ever know Deacon had harbored her. I actually hope not, wrong as he was, because Deacon has come a long way, and I'd hate to see him go to jail because of Sheila.

Over at Forrester Creations, Steffy and Finn had gathered everyone, and I'm surprised nobody thought they were going to announce a forthcoming sibling for Hayes. Or that they were finally about to change Hayes's name, because Blake Hayes was a right bastard. No, Dr. and Mrs. Finnegan shocked all by presenting their theory that Sheila was still alive.

The choice of recipients was rather baffling to me. Why was Carter there? Why was Li, a victim of Sheila's, not there? And for as much as Thomas is on everyone's s**t list right now, he was in Sheila's direct line at one point, and he should be told about his one-time co-conspirator's probable aliveness, as well. "Thomas is keeping a low profile," Eric said. No, he isn't! He was just there sassing Brooke and trying to kiss up to Hope!

There was some discussion as to the credulity of Sheila cutting off her own toe to escape further incarceration, but the knowing Brooke and Eric agreed that if anyone was crazy enough to reduce their phone number from ten to nine digits, it was Sheila. Their job done at FC, Steffy and Finn decided to lunch at Il Giardino, the site of their almost murders.

"I like the food," Steffy divulged when Finn asked why she'd wanted to nosh at the scene of the crime. I did find that amusing, but Steffy added that she wasn't about to let Sheila take anything away from them, even a bistro. That's fair. Steffy was glad that both Ridge and Taylor were out of town (separately), but when Steffy excused herself to call her mom, it was just to see how Taylor was doing...not to warn her about Sheila.

After all, did not Steffy herself muse that Taylor might be on Sheila's radar because Sheila and Taylor were once almost besties? Steffy removed herself to a previously unseen restroom area and chatted up her mom, pacing to and fro while clutching her libation...a libation she promptly spilled on an emerging ladies' room visitor. Steffy hung up with Taylor and tried to clean the liquid off the unfortunate woman.

At least, until Steffy caught a glimpse of the sodden stranger's shoes and noticed that only nine toes poked out from them! Because they were open-toed heels! "Sheila!" Steffy stammered as she peered into Sheila's eyes, which were at least contact lens blue instead of her natural brown. Will Sheila somehow be able to wriggle herself out of this encounter with Steffy?

And let's talk about that encounter! I'll half-heartedly allow that maybe Sheila figured she'd better pee before taking off for parts unknown. But why at Il Giardino? And what the hell was she thinking, wearing open-toed shoes? Was that the only pair she happened to have at Deacon's? Highly unlikely, and Sheila's supposed to be too smart to make a blunder like that. She just hasn't been on her game this go-round...of course, she wasn't during her 2017 visit, either! Watch some of your old YouTube vids, Sheila!

What Christmas wishes for these characters would keep you on your toes, Scoopers? Does Thomas deserve more than just a few harsh words for his latest scurrilous stunt? Should Bill forget about Brooke and Katie and go for a free-and-clear woman like Li? Should Deacon get a get-out-of-jail-free card under his tree this year? And should Sheila get a gift certificate for a store that sells only closed-toe shoes? Give us your digits -- well, not literally -- in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could end up in a future column! Like these!

"As much as I like Kimberlin Brown, Sheila's presence is pointless, and is stagnating Deacon's storyline, which held so much promise when he returned to start a relationship with Hope. The only way to fix this is to create a major storyline which redeems [Sheila]. Or let her fade back into the sunset, where so many other characters reside..." -- Eva

"Bill is looking like a first class idiot lately! Spewing dribble to two sisters in a span of no less than 10 minutes...so glad Brooke and Katie turned him down! 'My Katie'...yeah, right, Bill! Bill needs to cut his losses and move on...preferably in Li's direction!" -- "thomascd"

"If BB had decent writers...Sheila would be arrested by a new cop in town, Deacon Sharpe Junior. Someone to give Finn and Thomas a run in the hot bod competition, but no, Little D is just another forgotten child, like RJ, who Brooke has not mentioned once (unless I missed it) in her flailing around trying to hang onto Ridge. She had a kid with Ridge to cement their destiny', so where is the anchor baby? Damien, oops, sorry, Douglas will expose his father's misdeeds, there will be serious conversations for a week or so, then it's back to the same old same old...HIRE NEW WRITERS!" -- Rhonda

Actually, Rhonda, while one could argue that Brooke tried to have anchor babies more than once in her time as STFV, the only anchor involved with R.J. was sailor Nick, since Brooke had grief sex with him while thinking hubby Ridge was dead. But yeah, you'd think R.J. would have come up in all Brooke's campaigning! And I am so here for Little D (actually Eric Sharpe) being Sheila's arresting officer. Inspired!

I plan to be inspired for you in two weeks, when it will once again be time for me to bring you my year-end best-and-worst column (didn't we just do one of those?). I will have lovely presents for the good characters/stories and stale fruitcake for the bad characters/stories. Nobody breaks down a year like I do, so be here. As for Sheila, her jig may finally be up, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold, my Scoopnesses!
AMJ

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