The cougar, the bigamist, and the stalker

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The cougar, the bigamist, and the stalker
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The week of October 12, 2009
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Last week, Barbara finally got some. Screen time, that is. The fact that she was mattress-thrashing with Henry, though, made the situation resemble a traffic accident; you couldn't look away, but you really wanted to.

Barbara Ryan finally got some. Screen time that is. While I'm thrilled that Barbara finally got a lover, and that he's a younger man, the fact that she was mattress thrashing with Henry left me, well, a little uneasy. It was sort of like a traffic accident. I couldn't look away, no matter how much I wanted to.

Barbara and Henry certainly have chemistry; I won't say it's romantic chemistry, but it is something. While I enjoy their performances, this storyline has some issues. First, it's out of character for Barbara to want to trade sex with Henry for money. Yes, he is sexy and James' son, and he did sound like Daddy Dearest when he said, "Hello, Barbara!" But, she knows that Henry is only after his cut of the Stenbeck fortune, which she is blocking, so I find it hard to believe that she is checking her self respect at the door for a quick romp. (I suppose you could argue that Barbara is just that lonely and desperate, but I don't buy it. The woman is still completely stunning.)

Second, Henry has become spineless, unable to stand up to his mother and her silly, over-the-top schemes. I was hoping when Audrey came to town that we'd get some character history for Henry and discover more about his past. Instead, so far, the Coleman reunion has been playing like an episode of "Three's Company." Factor in that Henry Coleman is now a cheater (poor Vienna!) and I'm less than thrilled at this new direction. Perhaps if Henry wasn't in a committed relationship, then I wouldn't mind the Barbara tryst. But the fact that he supposedly loves Vienna and that he's taking orders to have sex, from his mother, makes this storyline a bit uncomfortable. But like I said before, I still can't look away.

Meanwhile:
• Blink and you missed the Coleman family reunion, when Maddie came home. I was hoping for something with more of a punch, when Maddie saw her mother. Can we please get a real family reunion soon, with Henry and his mother and sister?

• Just in case you're keeping track. It's been more than a month since anyone has seen Dusty or Bonnie. Shouldn't they come up for air soon?

• Really, Lily? A wedding, when your husband had been dead only a few weeks? Talk about inappropriate. Rushing into marriage with her ex was a slap in the face to Holden. I don't blame him for being furious with his wife. Lily has taken needy to an entirely new level.

• I'm concerned that poor Faith just had a gun held to her head and should probably get some treatment for trauma, but Lily is too worried about her two-husband situation to notice.

• Thumbs up to the Liberty pregnancy storyline. She is struggling, trying to do what everyone wants, and it's good drama. Janet is overbearing and trying to push Liberty to have the baby, and Paul and Emily are driving Liberty to insanity with all their prenatal rules. It's no wonder her head is spinning. This story is packed full of drama, and I'm expecting more before it ends.

• Some of you are angry at Jack Snyder, for apparently losing his backbone and caving into Janet and agreeing to raise Liberty's child. You argue that he always stood up to Carly and that this is out of character. Perhaps, but couldn't it also be true that Jack learned that his bulldozing behavior gets him nowhere? He seems to be much less preachy to Janet than he ever was to Carly.

• I know teen pregnancy is a serious topic, but I couldn't help but chuckle at Brad's family tree breakdown of his soon-to-be grandchild, if Jack and Janet raise the kid. (Check the Best Lines of the Week section.) It was a laugh-out-loud moment.

• Maeve is a little nuts, don't ya think? One second she was burning money and then asking Holden to make love to her. I think Holden could have a stalker soon.

• Speaking of stalkers, did you see Meg peering in the window, watching Lily and Damian's wedding. The lightning and rain made it even scarier, when she gave them the stink eye. Creepy! It looks like Meg is treading dangerously close to following Emily and Paul to crazy town. Damian, you've been warned.

• Poor Noah. His professor has a thing for him, and Noah just wants to finish his project. There is no way this ends well.

• So Carly took Craig off the visitor list? Rosanna and Craig have chemistry, but so do Carly and Craig. It will be interesting to see where this storyline is going. I fear it may end with Carly and Rosanna duking it out.

• Bravo to Jon Hensley this week for his outstanding work, during Holden's return. I forgot how great he is with drama. I would have liked to have seen it play out for longer than a second, though. (A good example of how to do a "spouse-back-from-the-dead-showing-up-at-the-wedding" storyline is General Hospital's Jax and Brenda's second wedding. Now that was an action-packed jaw dropper.) Nevertheless, Hensley nailed it, as he realized that Lily had moved on so quickly. The flower petals on the bed were the final straw, as he packed a bag to go to a hotel. "I'll see if Damian's old room is available, since he has mine," Holden snapped as his parting shot, as he hit the door. Nice!

• I know many of you are concerned about the future of the show, after last week's dismal ratings. (Last place!) I'm concerned, too. I wish I had the answer. I don't. I don't understand how ATWT is scoring lower than several shows on the list, especially "All My Children." That show has become unwatchable with its ridiculous writing of Aidan, Erica, Ryan, etc., except for Jake and Amanda. Even with its flaws, ATWT is still as good or better than several other of the shows scoring higher ratings. I'm not saying things are perfect; they aren't. The excitement seems to have seeped out of Oakdale, and we don't have any "fun gimmicks" like karaoke night at Jakes on General Hospital. What we do have is an exceptional cast of actors who need some well-written material. And would it kill the show to have some family/party/bar scenes where everyone can dress up and see one another? Here's hoping the ratings get better soon. I feel your pain and fear, Scoopers.

Best Lines of the Week:
(Brad tries to convince Janet that she and Jack should not raise Liberty's baby.)
Brad: "If you do this, Liberty's kid will be her brother or sister and cousin, and my grandchild will be my niece or nephew, and my new kid's niece or nephew and cousin. It hurts my head to think about it."
Janet: "Alright, so it's a little unconventional."
Brad: "Unconventional? It's Jerry Springer, Janet."

(Meg sums up Lily to Damian.)
Damian: "Why is Lily upset?"
Meg: "Lily's always upset."

(Henry shows his love for "Lion King," as he tells Ralph he needs more time to get the money.)
Ralph: "Time, she's a fickle thing. Sometimes she can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It just depends where you stand In the circle of life."
Henry: "Hey, I'm as big a fan of show tunes as the next guy."

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller

Jennifer Biller
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